According to Scamwatch data, over 3,200 romance scams were reported in Australia in 2024, resulting in over $23.5 million in losses. This makes romance scams the second most financially damaging type of scam in Australia.
“The emotional impact of these scams can be devastating. Victims not only suffer financial losses but also experience feelings of betrayal, shame, and heartbreak. Sadly, financial recovery in these cases is rare,” COBA Chief of Financial Crimes and Cyber Resilience Leanne Vale said.
Here, the COBA Financial Crimes and Cyber Resilience team share their expert tips on how to spot and avoid romance scams.
How romance scams work
Cybercriminals often create fake profiles on dating sites and apps by using stolen photos and fabricated identities. They initiate contact, quickly building a rapport and showering their targets with affection.
Scammers quickly move conversations off dating platforms and onto private channels like email or text. This helps them avoid detection and gives them more control over the interaction.
While some scammers may ask for money immediately, others take a more patient approach. They invest weeks, even months, cultivating a seemingly genuine relationship to gain their victim's complete trust. This makes it even harder to recognise the scam, as the victim truly believes they are in a committed relationship
“They often use elaborate stories to gain their victims' trust. Once they have gained their trust, they will start asking for money, often for emergencies or to help them travel to meet the victim,” Leanne explained.
However, romance scams are becoming increasingly complex. Scammers aren't just after your money; they might try to turn you into a ‘money mule’. This means they manipulate you into moving large sums of money illegally, often under the pretence of helping your online love interest. This can have devastating consequences, leaving you heartbroken and facing potential legal action.
Be very wary if your online ‘sweetheart’ asks you to transfer funds, release money, or handle any kind of suspicious financial transaction. Protect yourself by refusing to get involved and reporting any concerns to the authorities.
Friendship scams
Romance scams aren't limited to just romantic relationships. Scammers also target individuals seeking friendship, and may pose as a sympathetic friend, sharing similar interests and mirroring their victim's behaviour to build trust. Once that trust is established, they use guilt, flattery, or coercion to manipulate their victim into sending money or providing personal information
“These scams often involve elaborate stories of personal hardship or urgent emergencies. The scammer may claim to need money for medical expenses, legal troubles, or a family crisis. They play on the victim's emotions, urging them to send money quickly without questioning the situation's authenticity,” Leanne explained.
How to spot a scam and protect yourself
There are some common indicators that can help you identify a potential romance scam.
Be wary of profiles that seem too good to be true, especially if the person's online presence is limited. Scammers also often avoid phone calls or video chats, making excuses about technical difficulties or other issues. They are quick with seemingly reasonable excuses for why they can’t meet in person or access their own money.
They may also discourage you from discussing the relationship with friends and family, isolating you from those who could offer support and potentially identify the scam.
Individuals should also be wary of Sextortion scams. Read more here.
What to do if you have encountered a scam
If you believe you may have been a victim or lost money to a scam, it’s important to notify your financial institution as soon as possible.
Australian Mutual Bank members can speak to our Fraud Team by calling 13 61 91 or by emailing info@australianmutual.bank.
Seek support from IDCARE (a free government-funded service) who can help you develop a response plan to limit the damage. IDCARE will never contact you out of the blue.
Help others and keep authorities in the know by reporting the scam to Scamwatch.
Beware of follow up scams, particularly ones promising to help you get your money back. One in three victims of a scam have been scammed more than once according to Scamwatch.
If you or someone you know has been impacted and may need ongoing help, there are support services available. These avenues of support are available to help, listen and believe.
For more advice on how to avoid scams and what to do if you or someone you know is a victim of a scam, see our Security Advice section or visit the Scamwatch website at www.scamwatch.gov.au.
Customer-owned banks are dedicated to safeguarding their customers from scams and fraud. In November 2023, 55 mutual banks and credit unions demonstrated this commitment by joining forces to launch the Scam-Safe Accord. This industry-wide initiative represents a united front against scammers and reinforces the banking sector’s determination to strengthen consumer protection. Find out more about the Scam-Safe Accord here.
Source: Customer Owned Banking Association (COBA)
