What is domestic and family violence?

Domestic and family violence is any behaviour that makes you or your family feel scared or unsafe. It’s violent, threatening, controlling or coercive behaviour.

It can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity, sexuality or financial situation and in any type of relationship, including:

• past and current intimate partners
• relationships between carers and the people they care for
• parents, guardians or other family members
• between children and their parents
• other people you see often, whether inside or outside the home
• in cultural family groups or extended family.

While women often make up the majority of those experiencing domestic and family violence, elder abuse is an increasing issue. Elderly people can be vulnerable as they often depend on others for help with their finances.

Here are some of the types of family and domestic violence¹:

Controlling behaviour - If someone prevents you from seeing or contacting people, leaving the house or doing activities that are important to you. It could also be forcing you to get a loan you don’t want, controlling what you wear, eat or even your medical care. This is also known as coercive control.

Psychological, emotional or mental abuse - This is behaviour that can cause emotional and psychological harm. It can be just as harmful as physical violence. It could be public humiliation, name calling, threats, put downs or gaslighting.

Sexual abuse - This can be any kind of sexual activity that you were forced, coerced or tricked into doing when you didn’t want to.

Physical violence - This is direct assault to you, your children, family, friends, pets or property. It could involve slapping, punching, kicking, shaking or pushing. It could include the use of weapons or objects, and intimidation, such as punching walls and standing over you.

Technology facilitated abuse - This could be if someone is monitoring what you do online or on your phone. They could be monitoring where you are through spyware. It could also be someone using electronic communication to bully, harass, stalk or intimidate you.

Spiritual violence - If someone is forcing you to practise religion or not allowing you to be part of a religion or cultural group.

Financial abuse - This could be if someone is monitoring what you spend money on, or restricting your access to money, your bank account, wages or pensions. It could also be not allowing you to get a job or forcing you to get a loan you don’t want. (See Financial abuse tab for more)